Everyone knows this bad feeling. Like you are sick of the world and you hate everything you know.
It is a dark place where everything seems wicked. Everybody will find himself in that place soon or later. Although it may seem absurd I believe that it has become a part of growing up. Like you could easily describe it as an phase every teenager has to go through these days.
And some have a lack of mental strength and condition. Some of them are distracted by worse things happening in their life. And some are under so much pressure that they cannot handle it anymore. All of this things can easily break their back and then they will find themselves stuck in a cruel place which is similar to depression.
Sometimes I am really scared that I will slip into this condition of my mind without even recognizing it. Often, when I feel bad and have this sudden outburst of tears without a reason, or when this heavy fatigue is distracting me from school and my social life, I wonder what I can possibly do to prevent me from being stuck in this condition.
And then I repeat a little mantra of mine. “I have to combat fatigue, charm away melancholy, wipe away all the silly tears and wear a big, gay smile. Because I do not want to be in a dark place surrounded by darkness, fatigue and melancholy. I want to live my life in the sun with all the simplest joys life can bear. I want to be confident and gay and content and in love and … and just happy. I want to explore all the bright places of life”
This may sound like a silly, childish thing to do. But, actually, it serves the purpose quite excellent. The mantra reminds me of all the good things which had happened to me. And then, magically, the sadness vanishes. Not at once – inch by inch, piece by piece.
To all of them who sometimes find themselves in some kind of mental prison
To all of them who sometimes do not longer see the sun but all the darkness insteadTo all of them who sometimes lost the path of happiness, joy and pleasure
Please talk about. Writing and talking is the best therapy you can possibly grant yourself. There does not have to be someone who actually is listening. Just write down and get it of your chest. Because keeping it inside of you will only make this feeling stronger. And it will eat you alive from the inside , inch by inch.
Please excuse me for grammatical mistakes. I am so tired but I wanted to get that of my chest. Now I feel free to go to sleep.
Good night world. May it be a good, restful night for everyone.